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Seinfeld Season 9 Episodes
Season 9 Episode Guide
22 Episodes 1997 - 1998
Episode 1
The Butter Shave
Thu, Sep 25, 199723 mins
Kramer discovers a new use for butter by applying it to his face while he shaves, but he accidentally cooks himself when he uses it as sunscreen. George gets a job with a company that makes playground equipment, and really enjoys it after he successfully convinces his boss that he's handicapped. Jerry is riding a wave of success at comedy clubs, but hates the fact that hack comic Kenny Bania is riding his coattails. Elaine is on her way back from Scandinavia with Puddy and they repeatedly break up and get back together.
Episode 2
The Voice
Thu, Oct 2, 199723 mins
Kramer sets up a new company - Kramerica Industries, and hires an intern from NYU to help out with the day to day activities of running a fake large company. Jerry thinks his girlfriend's navel is talking to him. George continues to work for Play Now even though his boss is trying to force him out after George lied about being handicapped. Elaine makes wagers with Jerry that she will not continue to see David Puddy.
Episode 3
The Serenity Now
Thu, Oct 9, 199723 mins
Frank sets up a new business selling computers and hires George and Lloyd Braun (seen in "The Non Fat Yogurt" and "The Gum") to compete against each other in a sales contest. But Frank's relaxation technique drives everybody completely nuts. Jerry's new girlfriend encourages him to let his emotions out. Kramer takes Frank's screen door and puts it up in his apartment, creating "Anytown, USA", but the local kids make relaxation difficult. Elaine discovers her "shiksa appeal" and suddenly every Jewish man in New York, including her former boss, is attracted to her.
Episode 4
The Blood
Thu, Oct 16, 199723 mins
Jerry starts gaining weight and his parents hire Izzy Mandelbaum (see episode "The English Patient") to assist Jerry as a personal trainer. Kramer starts giving blood and uses his own refrigerator to store it, but it freaks Jerry out. Then, George starts dating a woman who burns vanilla incense and he gets the idea to associate food and sex with his love life. He makes something called "pudding skin singles" using an Exacto knife. Meanwhile, Jerry yells at Kramer to get the blood away from him, pounds the table and the Exacto knife flies at him and cuts his throat. Jerry loses blood and Kramer gives Jerry some of his, causing Jerry to freak out. Meanwhile, Elaine is out in the suburbs visiting her friend, Vivian. Vivian wants somebody to watch her troublesome son, Jimmy, but she doesn't think Elaine is responsible enough. So Elaine goes to great lengths to prove it, even taking Kramer's spot. Vivian then tells Elaine that she is experiencing some health problems and that Elaine might be on deck as a permanent babysitter for Jimmy. The next day, Izzy shows up at Jerry's and takes him to a gymnasium, circa 1920. Kramer keeps trying to get Jerry to pay back the favor of donating blood by letting him and Newman watch a video. Unfortunately, it's an instructional video on how to make your own sausage. Izzy sees the sausages and orders them to be thrown out. George ups the ante on his Caligula complex by eating pastrami sandwiches during love making. Elaine watches little Jimmy but is quickly running out of purses. The next day, Newman and Kramer are mad at Jerry and Kramer asks to borrow Jerry's car to take his blood back to the blood bank. Jerry obliges, but the engine in the car overheats and Kramer uses his blood to replace the water. George decides to up the ante again and add television to the equation but then his girlfriend finally catches wind of what George is doing and dumps him. Later that day, George gets aroused at the coffee shop while eating a sandwich. After that, Jerry meets up with Izzy, who ties Jerry to the back of his car and starts pulling him. Jerry is yanked off his feet and dragged when Izzy's son speeds up the car when he notices blood dripping from a leak, onto his feet. George meets Vivian, who shares his passion for the erotic qualities of salted cured meats. George meets Jerry in the hospital and now he's watching out for Jimmy. Jerry learns who the blood donor is this time around and it's Newman.
Episode 5
The Junk Mail
Thu, Oct 30, 199723 mins
Kramer becomes annoyed at all the junk mail he gets, so he decides to stage a crusade against the post office. Jerry runs into "Fragile Frankie", a former childhood acquaintance, who tries to sell Jerry a huge new van. Frank and Estelle try to find a way to spice up their love life, against George's objections. Meanwhile, Elaine dumps Puddy for a guy who does TV spots for an electronics store called "Nobody Beats The Wiz".
Episode 6
The Merv Griffin Show
Thu, Nov 6, 199723 mins
After Kramer rescues the set of the old Merv Griffin show from a dumpster, he sets it up in his apartment where he interviews anyone who happened to drop by. George's new girlfriend gives him a hard time after he strikes a pigeon with his car. When he hits a squirrel she insists that he take it to the vet and then care for it at home. A new guy at the office is driving Elaine crazy. Jerry has a new girlfriend who inherited a fabulous collection of classic toys from her late father. She won't let Jerry touch them - let alone play with them - but he soon finds a way around that.
Episode 7
The Slicer
Thu, Nov 13, 199724 mins
Kramer buys a meat slicer and really enjoys making fresh sandwiches. Elaine's neighbor goes to Europe but forgets to turn his alarm off, driving her nuts. George gets a new job at Kruger Industrial Smoothing. Jerry dates Dr. Siterides, a dermatologist. Thanks to George's suggestion, Jerry tries a revenge date when Dr. Siterides makes him feel inadequate for not saving lives, but the plans quickly backfire. George enjoys his new job at the incompetent company but when he sees a photo sitting on his boss's desk, he remembers when he first encountered Kruger. George steals the photo out and has himself airbrushed out. Elaine enlists Kramer to help her blow the fuses in her building. But when that finally turns the alarm off, they learn that Elaine's neighbor has a cat, and blowing the fuses shut off the automatic feeder. So she borrows the meat slicer in order to feed the cat, but gets slicer happy and cuts off part of her shoe. George, meanwhile, gets the photo back, but the photo store clerk accidentally airbrushed Kruger out instead of him. Back at Jerry's, George panics because they airbrushed the wrong guy out of the photo. He needs a photo of a shirtless Kruger and gets Dr. Siterides to do a skin cancer screening at Kruger. Dr. Siterides agrees, but after Jerry accuses her of giving him hives, she bails on the screening. But after Kramer gets his meat slicer repaired at Kruger, the clueless Kruger mistakes Kramer for a real doctor, and Kramer does the screening anyways, posing as Dr. Van Nostrand. Later, Jerry realizes that it was Dr. Van Nostrand, not Dr. Siterides, who gave him hives. George manages to successfully get himself airbrushed out of the picture and returns the picture to Kruger's desk, without him noticing.
Episode 8
The Betrayal
Thu, Nov 20, 199724 mins
The famous "backwards episode". Elaine decides to spite her old college roommate Sue Ellen Mischkie by taking Jerry and George to India to attend Sue Ellen's wedding. Elaine repeatedly reveals secrets about her past when Jerry discovers the combination to Elaine's "vault". Jerry runs in to an ex-flame - Nina, who is a "great conversationalist". George wears boots that alter his height to impress Nina and doesn't use the bathroom the entire time they are in India. Meanwhile, Kramer has a nasty encounter with a man named Franklin Delano Romanowski who tells him to drop dead.
Episode 9
The Apology
Thu, Dec 11, 199723 mins
George goes out of his way to seek an apology for an insult; when Elaine is insulted that a fellow co-worker is scared of her germs, Puddy admits that he's a fellow germaphobe; Jerry dates a nudist and learns the difference between good naked and bad naked; Kramer installs a garbage disposal in his shower.
Episode 10
The Strike
Thu, Dec 18, 199723 mins
Kramer returns to H&H bagels after a 12 year strike. Elaine gives "denim vest" a fake number on her free sub card. Jerry meets a woman named Gwen who is "two faced". (She doesn't look good in some light)George creates a fake charity called "the human fund" to give fake Christmas presents at Kruger. He invites Kruger over to celebrate "Festivus" when he can't cash the 20,000 dollar charity check to "the human fund".
Episode 11
The Dealership
Thu, Jan 8, 199823 mins
Jerry goes to buy a new car from David Puddy, who's been promoted to the sales floor. But after Elaine breaks up with Puddy (again), Jerry is worried that he wont get a good deal on the car. George seeks revenge on a mechanic after he accuses the mechanic of stealing his candy bar. Kramer takes the same car Jerry is looking at out on a long test drive to see how far he can go on free gas without filling up the tank.
Episode 12
The Reverse Peephole
Thu, Jan 15, 199823 mins
Jerry, George, Elaine, and Puddy get invited to Joe Mayo's party. Elaine throws Puddy's fur out the his window. Kramer and Newman put reverse peepholes so they can see if anyone is in their apartment before entering. The super tries to evict Newman but Kramer sticks up for him. Newman begins a secret love affair with the super's wife and Kramer gets worried. Newman finds Puddy's fur in a tree and George winds up paying for a massage chair because his back is tweaked from his fat wallet. Jerry carries a purse and wears a fur to fool the super and gets robbed on the street.
Episode 13
The Cartoon
Thu, Jan 29, 199823 mins
Elaine accidentally steals a "Ziggy" cartoon and sends it to the New Yorker as one of her own. Jerry confides in Kramer that a fellow comedian, Sally Weaver, should quit stand up. Kramer tells her this and she then targets Jerry as the devil in her act. She gains popularity and gets her own cable special. George is dating a woman who looks like Jerry.
Episode 14
The Strongbox
Thu, Feb 5, 199823 mins
Kramer buys a strong box because there have been several robberies in the building. He tries to hide the key but Jerry keeps finding it. George is trying to break up with his girlfriend Maura, but can't convince her to leave. Jerry doesn't recognize his new neighbor, Phil, and won't let him in the building. Elaine is dating a poor man who she thinks is a super hero.
Episode 15
The Wizard
Thu, Feb 26, 199823 mins
Kramer learns that he's finally making some royalties from his coffee table book. He decides to retire to Florida and live in the same condo complex as Jerry's parents. Jerry goes to visit his parents in Florida and gives his dad his birthday present - a Wizard portable computer. Morty thinks it only has one primary use - as a tip calculator. Kramer decides to run for the condo board of directors and Morty decides to use Kramer to install a puppet regime and wield power from behind the scenes. Kramer decides to give everyone on the condo board free Wizards in order to win the election. Meanwhile, everyone questions the ethnicity of Elaine's new boyfriend, and George is dragged by the Ross's up to his fake house in the Hamptons.
Episode 16
The Burning
Thu, Mar 19, 199823 mins
Jerry is stunned to learn that his new girlfriend has a mysterious "tractor story" that she is not telling him. Kramer and Mickey act out symptoms for medical school students, but Kramer gets repeatedly typecast. George perfects the showmanship art of going out on a high note during meetings at Kruger. Meanwhile, Elaine is stunned to learn that Puddy is religious, and he informs her that she's going to hell.
Episode 17
The Bookstore
Thu, Apr 9, 199823 mins
While at Brentano's, George is forced to buy an expensive art book after taking it into the bathroom. George has a hard time getting rid of said book. Jerry catches Uncle Leo shoplifting and has a hard time dealing with the situation. Kramer and Newman set up a rickshaw business using New York's homeless population but the plans quickly backfire. Elaine gets in trouble when she has a drunken make out session at Peterman's party and Peterman orders the guy to attend rehab.
Episode 18
The Frogger
Thu, Apr 23, 199822 mins
Jerry's dating a girl who always finishes his sentences. He decides the time has come to have it out with her. Elaine is getting tired of all the cake parties at work every time someone leaves, arrives, is sick and so on. She realizes she's gotten use to the sugar rush though and raids Peterman's office fridge only to eat a collectible piece of cake from a very special weeding that he bought at a Sotheby's auction. George decide he wants to buy the Frogger game from his old hangout after he sees that he still has the high score. He has to figure out a way to get to his place without erasing the game's memory. Kramer says there's a serial killer around, the Lopper, and that his latest victim resembled Jerry.
Episode 19
The Maid
Thu, Apr 30, 199823 mins
Jerry dates his maid, and blurs the fine line between professional relationship and prostitution. Kramer begins a long-distance relationship. Elaine becomes annoyed at all the faxes she's getting from Kramer's restaurant service and has her phone number changed. But she gets a new area code and that only complicates things. George gets an unwanted nickname at Kruger.
Episode 20
The Puerto Rican Day
Thu, May 7, 199823 mins
On their way back into the city, Elaine, George, Kramer, and Jerry find themselves stuck in traffic because of the Puerto Rican Day Parade. An impatient Elaine abandons them and tries to get a cab but it's no faster. George gives up as well, hopping out of Jerry's car and going to a movie, where he has an encounter with someone who has a laser pointer. Kramer and Jerry have a running encounter with someone in a maroon Golf. When Kramer needs a restroom, he visits an apartment that's for sale.
Episode 21
The Chronicle
Thu, May 14, 199844 mins
In the next to last episodes in the series, this two-parter highlights many of the funniest moments in the show's 9 year run. Included is George's problem with shrinkage; his wig; Jerry's girlfriend, Mulva; Elaine's odd dancing technique; Kramer's high powered shower head, the soup Nazi; Jerry's dentist; Jerry's puffy shirt. The list goes on.....
Episode 22
The Finale
Thu, May 14, 199856 mins
Five years after he and George made their original pitch, Jerry gets a call from NBC saying they want to go ahead with the original proposal. As a perk, they offer him the company jet to take him anywhere he likes and he, Elaine, George, and Kramer are soon winging their way to Paris. They don't get very far; the plane must make an emergency landing thanks to Kramer's water-logged ear, and they find themselves in a small town with a few hours to kill. When they see a fat man being carjacked, they make fun of it, but they get arrested under a new Good Samaritan law for failing to help him.
