Curing a Masher

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Mr. Pest is a certain type of nuisance with whom you are all more or less familiar. A silly egotist with an exaggerated notion of his own importance, be believes that every woman he meets will fall an easy victim to his charms. As our story opens Mr. Pest is seen parading a fashionable drive watching his chance to make a mash with some fair damsel. An opportunity comes at last, but the young lady is far from won by his smirking smile and walks away with a defiant loss of her head. Mr. Pest makes another attempt but is soundly slapped for his troubles. Not daunted by this the masher approaches a third young woman and makes his annoying advances despite her threats to summon a policeman. Finally, however, the young lady's eyes light and she turns to the masher with a smile that means acquiescence. Certainly, she will be pleased to have Mr. Pest's company. Then she goes on to explain that she has some shopping to do and would Mr. Pest be so kind as to help her home with her things. Little knowing what this means, Mr. Pest nods his head, and with an elegant bow takes her arm. The young woman pauses in front of a hardware store and first of all purchases a dozen flatirons and a heavy pail to carry them in. When she goes into her purse, however, the masher waves her aside and pays the little bill himself, not suspecting she may make other more expensive purchases. They visit store after store and Mr. Pest, having spent all his money, is loaded down to the gunwales with all sorts of heavy and cumbersome merchandise. Besides the flat-irons and pail he is now carrying a watermelon, lawn-mower, a garden hose, foot-tub, a large hat box, etc. The scenes which follow are ridiculously funny. The young lady prefers to walk and her escort is a sorry sight when he finishes the two-mile hike. Up four flights of stairs to the young lady's apartments is the climax of a horrible journey for Mr. Pest. And when they get inside a strapping big chap in a sweater and boxing gloves is waiting for them. The young and pretty Mrs. Smart introduces her husband. Mr. Pest does not faint, but he makes haste to remove his cumbersome parcels and to "beat it" out of the house, tripping down the stairs in the tangles of the hose. And later when he meets a young woman who invites him to flirt with her he shoos her on her way and lifts up his hands solemnly in an attitude which says quite plainly, "Never again!"